Every clue in this puzzle was stolen. (Nearly). Attributions in parentheses below …

Across

1. It rarely has more than one part    HAIR (Jeremy Newton & Tony Orbach, NYX, 5/29/11)

5. Handheld console, for short          PSP (Ben Tausig, Ink Well, 5/27/08)

8. Military V.I.P.                                 SGTMAJ (Ashish Vengsarkar, NYX, 3/5/06)

14. Problem to face?                          ACNE (Joon Pahk and Brad Wilber, NYX, 9/15/12)

15. Short circuit?                               RTE (Lynn Lempel, LA Times, 3/16/06)

16. Painful thing to pierce                 AREOLA (Aimee Lucido, The Onion, 5/16/12)

17. Tennis’s Novak Djokovic, by birth SERB (John Dunn, NYX, 9/24/12)

18. Heavy metal rock?                       ORE (Patrick Merrell, NYX, 12/18/11)

19. Looseness                                   LAXITY (David Kahn, NYX, 2/5/09)

20. Beginning of a quote from 65-Across N/A

23. Last word of the title that begins “For Colored Girls…” ENUF (Francis Heaney, The Onion, 11/7/12)

24. Standing on the street?                REP (Dana Motley, NYX, 5/7/01)

25. “___ Iver” (2011 Record of the Year nominee whose name roughly translates to “good winter”)                                              BON (Brendan Emmett Quigley, Themeless Monday, 1/9/12)

28. “The Godfather” crowd, with “the” MOB (Lynn Lempel, NYX, 4/26/10)

31. Good card in blackjack                 ACE (Julian Lim, NYX, 12/20/11)

32. Coffee alternative to robusta        ARABICA (Matt Jones, Jonesin’, 9/30/10)

34. Powerless                                     UNABLE (Joe DiPietro, NYX, 3/28/12)

36. Second part of the quote              N/A

37. Song word repeated after “Que”    SERA (Kenneth J. Berniker, NYX, 4/6/10)

38. Units of cream: Abbr.                    PTS (Liz Gorski, NYX, 10/31/10)

39. Drop on a sweater                         BEAD (Pete Muller, Fireball, 9/5/12)

40. Third part of the quote                  N/A 

43. Barnard grad, e.g.                         ALUMNA (Nancy Salomon, NYX, 7/7/12)

45. Break down                                   DISSECT (Manny Nosowsky, NXY, 2/8/02)

46. It makes mist moist                       ANO (Joon Pahk and Brad Wilber, NYX, 9/15/12)

47. Abbr. after a lawyer’s name           ESQ (Paula Gamache, Constructors’ Syndicate, 5/22/08)

48. Mel who was portrayed in “Field of Dreams” OTT (Brendan Emmett Quigley, NYX, 7/22/12)

49. What Ariz. and Hawaii are the only two states not to have DST (Ben Pall, NYX, 9/6/12)

50. Orator’s challenge                           LISP (Eric Berlin, NYX, 4/12/09)

52. Final part of the quote                     N/A

57. Yellow Teletubby                             LAALAA (Paula Gamache, NYX, 3/30/08)

60. Drummer’s setup                             KIT (Joon Pahk, NYX, 7/9/11)

61. April, May, or June, for example       NAME (Harvey Estes, New York Sun, 11/21/02)

62. Wire source                                      APNEWS (original clue)

63. Like an insufferable, privileged sophomore who hates everyone EMO (Brendan Emmett Quigley, 2012)

64. ___-Gate (Reagan-era scandal)         IRAN (adapted from Tony Orbach, CrossSynergy/WaPo, 6/14/12)

65. Source of the quote                          N/A

66. Opposite of flushed                          WAN (Kurt Mueller, NYX, 10/27/11)

67. “Great” red feature of Jupiter            SPOT (Paul Hunsberger, NYX, 9/25/11)

Down

1. Dost possess                                      HAST (Xan Vongsathorn, NYX, 5/1/11)

2. Banda ___ (2004 tsunami site)            ACEH (Joe Krozel, NYX, 10/9/10)

3. Memo starter                                      INRE (Patrick Blindauer, NYX, 7/21/05)

4. Jewish teacher                                    REBBE (Dave Tuller, NYX, 1/25/98)

5. Fresh fruit and veggies                       PRODUCE (Lucy Gardner Anderson, NYX, 9/7/06)

6. Do a line of shots?                              STRAFE (Caleb Rasmussen, NYX, 10/21/12)

7. One of a group of 12, say                   PEER (Ian Livengood, NYX, 1/29/12)

8. Murderer in P.D.Q. Bach’s spoof opera “A Little Nightmare Music” SALIERI (Patrick Berry, 12/23/11)

9. Struggle to hold                                  GRASPAT (original clue)

10. It’s dangerous to do while driving      TEXT (Tom Baring, NYX, 6/28/11)

11. Montmartre me                                 MOI (James Sajdak, New York Sun, 1/22/08)

12. ___-country: music genre                  ALT (Fred Piscop, Los Angeles Times, 3/1/09)

13. Chattering bird                                  JAY (Brendan Emmett Quigley, NYX, 10/9/11)

21. Section in some porn shops              ANAL (Matt Jones, Jonesin’, 4/5/12)

22. Suspended air travel?                        TRAMS (Liz Gorski, NYX, 5/7/09)

25. “I could care less what you think”      BITEME (original clue)

26. Briny bodies                                      OCEANS (Patrick Jordan, Constructor’s Syndicate, 2/11/10)

27. Where to find eBay and Google          NASDAQ (Byron Walden and Caleb Madison, NYX, 12/9/10)

28. High-priority task                             MUSTDO (Mike Nothnagel, NYX, 12/1/06)

29. Adjective for a Billboard wonder       ONEHIT (Bob Klahn, Constructor’s Syndicate, 12/12/00)

30. Least embellished                             BAREST (Gabriel Stone, Wall Street Journal, 9/10/10)

33. “Seinfeld” restaurant owner from Pakistan  BABU (USA Today, 5/21/12)

35. First, second and third, but not fourth BAGS (Ned White, NYX, 12/24/11)

36. Gomez’s hirsute cousin                     ITT (Liz Gorski, Wall Street Journal, 2/18/11)

38. Rock singer/poet Smith                    PATTI (Paula Gamache, NYX, 5/21/03)

41. Gerrymanders, say                            REDRAWS (Matthew Lees, NYX, 9/21/06)

42. MDMA, familiarly                              ECSTASY (Matt Jones, Jonesin’, 2003)

43. “Marley & Me” actress                       ANISTON (Matt Skoczen and Victor Fleming, Los Angeles Times, 5/27/11)

44. ABC series about crash survivors      LOST (Merl Reagle, 1/31/10)

46. Nissan’s first hybrid vehicle              ALTIMA (Mike Nothnagel, NYX, 5/14/11)

51. The ___ mightier than the sword      PENIS (Martin Schneider, NYX, 8/27/95)

52. Supermodel Wek                              ALEK (Liz Gorski, Los Angeles Times, 5/11/12)

53. Make unreliable, as data                  SKEW (Tyler Hinman, Constructor’s Syndicate, 8/25/10)

54. Org. for boomers, now                    AARP (Thomas Takaro, NYX, 3/10/09)

55. “OMG that is funny”                         LMAO (original clue)

56. Gmail outbox folder                        SENT (Don Gagliardo and C.C. Burnikel, Los Angeles Times, 4/15/12)

57. Part of many a science course         LAB (Liz Gorski, NYX, 12/25/11)

58. Shrinks’ grp.                                   NYX (Ned White, NYX, 12/24/11)

59. Barack Obama’s mama                   ANN (David Kahn, NYX, 3/4/12)